Starting over....again !

[Shelby]

Thanks !
I've been thinking of getting them
Into counseling. I am. But I know they would fight me on it.

Today I am losing my mind.
For some reason I am really missing him today. And I am half tempted to see if there is any last minute thing I could say or do to get him to change his mind. Maybe let him know how I still didn't want this. Ask him if he is really happy now. I don't know ? He does hit on me occasionally. Out it out there that I miss him and I am still interested.

And then the other half me wants to slap myself and say come on...he cheated on you a couple of times, long term. He is a liar, a cheat. And why would I want any man that could tell you one week after finishing cancer treatment he wants a divorce ?
Ugh I needy head examined !!!

I have no confidence left. (The divorce will be final In 2 months. At least I think it will, he had me served and I had to sign, and it will be 2 years in July. He hasn't moved the divorce forward in any way since that day. ) in that I haven't even talked to another man.

I need a vacation !!