May...
it seems like you are approaching everything as a psychologist...and I know that you are but...I challenge you to come at it from a different angle...maybe that is what I mean

If i approached my children and their problems at school as a teacher instead of their mother, I would have some problems.

I need to come at them as their mom 1st, as a teacher and counselor 2nd...make sense?

I see you approaching everything with your husband as a counselor 1st and a wife 2nd. But, you are his wife firstly.

Instead of analysizing it thoroughly and processing it through as a counselor, can you process some things through your wife eyes first?