Once Reconcilliation Has Occurred

[Underdog]

Oh, Trish, at least in my house, it was the non crazymaker who was passive aggressive. I am really struggling with all of this, as I KNOW you are.

For all my crazymaking, I'm aggressive--nothing passive about me whatsoever. So this is a dynamic I know very little about in the context with crazymaking.

There are also books on this subject. I'm afraid that the one I read (along with my psych classes in college) did nothing more than identify the behaviors--not how to treat them or how to live around them.

Let's retreat to what worked when he didn't seem so angry. Any ideas?

I'm just floored about the throwing mail thing. I have to say, I agree that it sure looks like it came out of nowhere.

Good that you want to get into individual C. But with one big caveat: being on your own will undoubtedly be your decision, and not his (if I'm reading this remark the way he intended).

If anything, I hope this person can give you some ideas on how to work with these dynamics. Or to help you figure out if this is something you ultimately want to do.

I'll tell you here and now: much of my own source of anger was in dealing with Mr. W's passive aggressiveness. He would often say to me, "Bets, if you feel there is something wrong, then it's only with you. You better figure out why, because I'm fine."

The onus was always on me to find out what MY problems were. I guess I'm seeing that sentiment here with T.

Okay, so back to basics: what worked in the past to quell this sort of behavior?

Betsey