1) Don't assume that everything is now ok: W views you like a pent-up dam full of emotion. She's afraid that being nice to you is going to pull the plug and wash her away, and she doesn't want that. Continue to assume that W wants space and don't start talking about reconciliation or R discussions until she starts initiating them.
2) Don't escalate: If she says she had a nice time, don't say ILY. If she holds your hand, don't hug her. If she hugs you, don't kiss her. You can reciprocate, but don't take anything up a notch. Let her lead.
3) Expect hot and cold: Your W will "try on" being nice to you and letting herself believe that everything will be good. Then she'll catch herself, worry, and suddenly go ice cold. Don't take that personally, it's natural and part of the process. Don't comment on it, pretend you didn't notice, just roll with it.
4) Manage your expectations: It's tempting to get hopeful when you start to see positive signs. That hope can create expectations that then lead to disappointment, and that disappointment is very transparent. Expect nothing that you'll go out and be relaxed and try to have fun and that's it.
It can be hard to find neutral things to discuss. My DB coach suggested looking up "conversation starters" before the date so you'll have some interesting topics to get things going if you feel things are slowing down.
Accuray
Those are some great rules. Thanks for reposting them!
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
