Hi there, Just finished looking in on some posts and it looks like a lot of long-timers are wading back in and the bb is perking up a little. Hope everybody managed to get through Turkey day.....without too much grief.
Some journaling:
Thursday was quiet. We had no kids for T day. First time in 28 years!! So we had made some plans: Go to church at 10:30 am and then to the local community group to serve free turkey dinner. If this failed we would try the best restaurant in town with a water view and dine out. I thought we should have back up.
Thursday dawned and I was feeling sleepy, slept in a bit and then we ML!!
But in the midst H says his back is now hurting again and he can't get up!!! Off he goes to Lazy boy and heating pad
So much for church......and so I said: how about we see how you feel a little later and then we can go serve or not.Okay.
By 1:30 he was still ensconced in the lazy boy and no sign of communicating at all! Not one word all morning. So I annouced I was going on the computer if he felt like doing anything just let me know.
Him: Oh, well I was just thinking I'd shower up and we could go eat dinner in about an hour. me: Great I'll be ready.
Finally at 2:30 we leave and go to local restaurant. He sits quietly and stares out the window!
I try and converse( felt very awkward) we do okay......dinner was just Okay...
Then when we leave, someone has pulled in so close to our car, that it is literally 1 1/2 inches apart!!! H can't even get in to drive, as this would require climbing in the passenger side and scooting over (which he can't do because of his back). After going back into the restaurant to see if we can find the owner( no luck), I offer to drive and he will direct( what a loaded situation that is).
A mexican immigrant( no I am not kidding) comes up to my husband and sticks his face into the space above H shoulder. H freaks out and starts screaming at the poor guy(who probably barely speaks english) and embarrases us both with his profanity.
I remain completely calm.....move the car out and H takes the wheel. SCREECHING out of the parking lot I calmly ask him " not to take it out on OUR car, don't let's punish ourselves!! Please don't take it out on Our car it will not affect "them" if our car gets hurt."
He starts to calm down. I asked "if the guy sorta scared him coming up on him like that? Afterall, I said, he might have wanted to rob you!!?" He nods yes. Then says, actually, yes the thought had occurred to him." We procede to go look at a used car, and then home... Friday....we go swimming and eat pizza out. H like new place says their pizza is the best we've found so far( new home).This is good.
Sunday we go to church together, and then out to breakfast together....(awful food) . H says he will probably get sick from it, this before we are even home). me: Well, thanks for buying, I guess we have to try different places to know which ones are good and which ones aren't.
We watch movie together: Bridget Jone's Diary. In the middle of the movie there is a song by Van Morrison: "someone like you". This is song he emailed OW and told her how much he missed her and how this song was their song in spring of "02" email. H chirps in with: "Who sings that? Do you know that song? It's a great song!"
This after being ignored for four days. I felt like he was throwing it in my face. I stand up get my keys and make for the door. H stops me with:" what!!? what is it!!?" I said: "You mean to tell me you want me to believe you don't remember this song?!" The song you know every word to? The song you emailed back and forth and said was "Your" Song?"
him: no I don't remember.and I'm not gonna take this much longer.....everytime there is a song on the radio, or a movie on tv...you have a reaction!. me: well, it hurts. I'm not saying I'm raving mad, it just hurts me and you're gonna have to let me have my feelings and not expect me to pretend I don't."
I went into the other room and after a few minutes I returned and sat and watched the movie.( Lots of tension in the room) made dinner, went to bed.
Fast forward: last night: We go to bed....we are watching an old movie on TV and want to check a fact about one of the actors...( a little ritual with us) I offer to go to the computer and check....I do....and then he sees I am on HIS computer!!???? He over reacts and says I am spying and snooping...and I am to get OFF immediately. I was honestly just looking up John Wayne's birthday!@!
I was not snooping, I would not it's too hard on me frankly.... But he goes into his tirade about me not using his computer( the excuse given when I found all the damaging emails was that I had corrupted his files!! and gave him virus's, which I didn't, but he uses this to keep me off his computer.
Very tense night.
This morning H absolutely quiet all morning, I cannot tell you how unlike him this is, he usually makes some conversation. he did ask me to pick out his tie, but not to tie his shoes or help him in any way! takes an inordinate amount of time to come down to the car after sending me down to start it up...something is definitely "UP".?????
