Seeing Lawyers tomorrow...even more hopeless

[hopingandpraying]

Thanks 25!

I was not needy or smothering in our marriage. If anything, I was always the upbeat one and VERY independent one. I took care of most things around the house, bills, checking account, etc. He was in charge of mowing the lawn and vacuuming once a week (haha). He seemed to like it that way, because once I started working full time and asked for more help with things, he didn't like that I was no longer his 'part-time' stay at home wife.

Despite his mood, I always tried to be upbeat and happy, regardless. Because, in general, he is a crabbier/moody person.

I know it does make sense in a way that he will not contact me or come get his stuff, but I don't see how you can't give it another try.

I do get your insight and it makes perfect sense. I still try to do those exercises and have been happier over these past couple weeks. I have been going out with friends and truly enjoying it.

I am going to join a gym this weekend, got my hair highlighted, and have been eating better. I also looked into getting a second job to keep myself busy and get out more!

I understand your equation and how it does NOT fit right now, but how is he to see that I'm not going to bring up the affair or try to argue with him if he doesn't even contact me? How long am I supposed to let this 'going dark' go on for without any response from him?

I feel as if he is just waiting for me to say 'hey, we're done, so why aren't you coming to get your stuff?' Then, that way, I've made the decision again for him (I told him to take his clothes from the house when I found out about his other phone that he was using to contact his gf). That was almost 4 weeks ago!!!!

He's always had people making decisions for him--his mom, military, then me helping him with marital decisions. He made the decision to leave me and have an affair, but he can't make the decision to cut me off completely...that is the part that I do not understand.

I know I shouldn't try to understand his ways, but at times, I just wish I had more answers. I have let go of wanting to find some, not all, of those answers!

I feel I will never have the answers that I want because I was looking at our wedding album the other day (packing it up for him) and I read our marriage vows, which we wrote for each other. His stated "from the moment I met you, I knew that I wanted to be with you forever. It was only a matter of me getting you to feel the same way..." Now, we're on complete opposite ends...

Only time will tell and until the end, I will continue living my life and bettering myself for myself!!!