Thanks for the good wishes. I do think airing things out here first is best. I didn't send the email, but boy did I want to! I feel sooooooo taken for granted. Almost invisible, like he doesn't have any clue how much it hurts when he calls her and laughs or jokes and then pretends to her like I don't even exist!!!
Last night: I finally flew out of the apartment with some lame-o excuse, said I'd be back in twenty...which I was. I cried my heart out. Then came back. Couldn't look him in the face,I wasn't sure I wanted him to know I had been crying. So I took a shower and got on the computer. He took this as ignoring him (which it was)... He filled the coffee maker (usually my job) so this meant he was a bit peeved. Then he came by the computer room and said: "Are you coming?" (meaning to bed). "yep in a minute!" I replied and then I stayed at the computer for about 20 more minutes.(Passive aggressive, I know) He was sleeping when I finally came to bed. I didn't make a move to kiss him, but I didn't pull away either. He woke up and I fained sleeping, he kissed my arm. Which I thought was nice.
This morning: I got up after him (usual)and I just stayed in the bedroom(Not usual) He came in and said he wanted to leave in 15 minutes. He needed to get in for a conference call. Okay, I'm ready, I said. I got him a bagel and some juice while he was dressing (wasn't too sure I should do this). Then as we were leaving he motioned I forgot my wedding ring (which I had) and I ran back to get it. He seemed glad I had gotten together some food for him. Then I went down and started the car. He came down and got in and said:" And all this over a call with Lynn M."( OW/his Attorney are one in the same) me: "What" "I don't know what you mean." me: "I'm tired, but...." him: " You're moping around like a little girl who got her heart broke".
I watched traffic. him: "well, maybe you're just tired." Then I changed the subject and he talked about his day for a bit.... Then he told me how he hadn't slept well last night, was feeling sick, had a temp, maybe it's the flu.... Frankly I didn't respond much,not nice but I wasn't feeling very well at the moment.
Then he goes into this thing about how he is down $50., so far, in this venture to get D22 here for Thanks. only to have her ignore our calls.....and how this is the last time her is going to put himself out there, she obviously didn't have a model (meaning me) of how to assert herself, she once again dumped the repsonsibility on us for the planning. Either she isn't confident enough (again my model he says) She didn't really want to come and she is just playing with us or she doesn't know how to do this (again a poor model like you).
Then he says how he is feeling taken for granted again. Gets out of the car, no kiss goodbye. I rolled down the window and asked him "Are you gonna call me about what time you want me to pick you up?".... and he said it will be around 5 and kept walking.
All in all pretty discouraging.
If I could have looked at his calling her as though it were a good thing; He called in front of me. He complained after how she takes him for granted and he has to do all this work for himself.... I laughed at him and said, "oh talking to her wasn't that awful, you seemed to be enjoying it."
I took it like bullshit. He wants it both ways, he wants me to feel sorry for him that he has to "deal with her", and he wants to keep her on the hook on the side, so he acts like I don't exist to her!
It's all perception isn't it!
Don't know what I'd do if I couldnt' come here and vent!!!!
