What do I do next? Part 3

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It's possible that your memories of W aren't quite reflective of what your reality was. It's a natural thing to see your W through rose colored glasses in the situation you're in. The statement you make in the last sentence is the kind of perspective that will help. Step outside of your situation, look at it as a third party observer, and evaluate how "good" each of you have been. I would suggest that neither of you probably have lived up to your current vision of how great your wife was. People have flaws and hurt each other and that's just part of the deal as I'm sure you know. Oldtimer points out that the difference between a WAS and an LBS is just a matter of who took action first.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to change your perspective and see your W's changes as permanent, and act on that basis. That way, you will not be disappointed, and will not spend time agonizing over when she might return to her old self. Who you see now is who she is until she proves that she's someone else -- and that may never happen.

I'm not at all suggesting that it will be easy, but if you want to set a goal to end your suffering, that's one way to go about it. The other path, of course, is to focus on you and your changes, and to take pride in that. If you can do both of those things together, you will come out the other side in the best possible place -- you'll know W would be extremely lucky to have you back, and that's the attitude you want to have.

You've said that you're unhappy with the amount of money you make, and with the ratio of your expenses to your income. What are you going to do about that? Working on a plan for that might really help you feel better.

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