Unlearning, Learning, Doing it Differently

[2thepoint]

Crimson - I am giving you my outside in perspective. It doesn't mean it is right. But it might be.

"Testing....is that really it? Doesn't it seem rather extreme lengths to go to for a test? Let me divorce you to see if you have really changed?"

Good questions. How else could you possibly describe your W making all those complimentary comments to you, all the while still planning to proceed towards the big D? My view is she makes these statements and is looking for a reaction. Not sure what specifically she is hoping or thinking she will see but to my mind she is looking for something from you.

"Regarding verbalizing my feelings. No. I have not done that in a clear, concise manner just yet. It was my understanding that R talks were to be avoided. Also, I thought that such a conversation would be interpreted as "pressuring". Am I wrong in that assumption? I would be glad to admit if I am."

Let me ask you this question, Crimson. At what point do you think a R talk would be appropriate? After you divorce or at some point before you get to that point? I agree that timing is critical and several months ago probably would not have been a good time. But what about now?

You should re-read Divorce Remedy's Chapter 4 again. The very first sentence reads: "Now that you know exactly what you want in your marriage, it's time to share your thoughts with your spouse."

"She knows that this is killing me, the loss, the pain of it - and she seems not to really care one way or another."

I call BS here. She does care, she has said as much in her late night texts to you. But she is hurting too. As much if not more so than you.

“The future depends on what you do today.” ― Mahatma Gandhi