Thank you, zig. I am keeping focused on my true feelings of saving the relationship - it is without a doubt what I want. Divorce or not.
Looking back, I don't think I have resisted much of anything or questioned her decisions once I started looking inward.
One of the hardest things that I am dealing with in terms of just letting go is the financial hit I am going to take. Keep in mind, I am just venting here because I DESPERATELY need to get this out. My family is more important than money - I know that. That said, I am really struggling with losing so much from the retirement that I've worked so hard to acquire over the years....a lot of sacrifice to build for a better future together. Same deal on the stock options with my company that I worked so hard to get. All of these things I did for us, for our family - and she decides that she has lost her feelings from me and takes major chunks of all of it. I feel like I just got pushed back down the ladder even further after years of trying to be responsible and plan for tomorrow. I've even had to stop contributing to my 401K in order to keep up with the payments that I have to make to her - so that account is being cut in half and I don't even have the ability to build it back up again. She is taking vacations with S, buying a new car, clothes - and I am getting anxious just buying groceries. I know she is entitled to everything legally according to the state, but it still is hard to deal with. I worked so hard to provide for our today and tomorrow - to build our dreams - and it's all going away. Does anyone have advice on how to cope with this? It's killing me. Let me stress again before I take a beating - I know my family is more important than money. It's just hard to work so hard for it and have it taken away.
