I guess I can be here now 2

[25yearsmlc]

ps

Not sure what the big deal is about you seeing you mc without your h. Are you going to get them "On your side"? Are you going to "brainwash" them?

Hey If it really bothers your h (which I doubt) then let him see the mc alone too...all he wants.

First off, while seeing a MC alone MAY affect your h -
that hardly outweighs the benefit of you going, as opposed to not going.
AND
FYI - I saw our marriage counselor for over a year without h...he attended MAYBE a handful of times.

IOW I was nearly always alone, getting marriage counselling. And it's a darn Good thing, too.

The mc was a fan of our m and my h, & me. I felt safe with him and h preferred me working with Mc trying to stay m,

rather than letting him go drop off the face of the earth.

Frankly I don't understand the fear of your spouse seeing the mc without you there, or him fearing you seeing the mc without him there BECAUSE mc is

Not a contest in front of a judge.

There are No declared "winners" or "losers"...and seeing a mc on your own

(especially when the alternative is not seeing the mc at all....) is FINE. God knows it helped save my m and a lot of others. I don't know any couples who required both spouses be there for each session OR else...


Does your h see marriage counselling as - adversarial? [b] Does he like or trust the MC?

God, I sure hope he does and I sure hope he does NOT see it as something that will yield a "verdict".


IF he likes/trusts the mc - then I say, you going alone beats neither of you getting help.

And imo, ONE partner in the marriage getting help, is way better than neither getting it. One partner working on the m CAN make a difference in the marriage -

b/c if it did not - then what are we doing here on DBing?

Though ESN or Ken, or someone else said, maybe your h is "paranoid" and they would not risk seeing a MC alone again...I so disagree

-for the reasons herein...and May, do you think he really expects you to not go, just because he didn't?
That's like him saying "Oh I don't want (or can't) work on our m right now b/c I'm so busy atm, and I forbid you from doing so
and if you do...then I will feel.... "betrayed".... what??

I mean, really May? From where I sit,

that's batchit cray cray...

[/i]
May-

Again - this is not about being right - but about being happy. Whatever it takes...do it.

(((( ))))