Just don't know what to do right now. I feel as though completely disappearing is the wrong thing to do. But the pain of casual, happy interactions while she is still going full speed toward D is a lot to take. It's as if one side of her is saying to me "keep working on things" while the other is saying "I am out of here!". I don't know what to believe. If she really wants to work on things and says she is open to it, why the need to go through to divorce? Why not remain separated while we work on things? What is so "magical" about divorce? Is there some sense of freedom that she is hoping to obtain? I just don't get it.
