Once Reconcilliation Has Occurred

[Underdog]

Okay, Trish, I'm back!

Well, I've decided to take a break from my overloaded desk and want to devote a little time here. To you.

WHAT IF.........

You could go to him and say, "Honey, the past is the past! I'm commiting myself to letting it go. To help me move forward and stay completely focused on that, I'm going to need your help."

I see you're look of incredulity But I'm going to go on...

"In order for me to do that, I need certain things from you. Some of those things are going to require a commitment on your part. We have been so happy lately, and I would like to get back on that track. When I was happy, I was feeling [XXXXXXXXXXXX] and you were doing [XXXXXXXXX].

A happy marriage is one where both of us wins. I would also like to do the same for you. What do you feel you need from me to see that I am 100% committed to our marriage?"

Then see what he has to say?

Now, we can talk about how you deal with your feelings for the past off line. They are definitely going to require a commitment as well. Of all people, I know you have the knowledge and willpower to get there.

One of my colleagues shared a great analogy with me this morning. It was in relation to a mutual friend of ours who is completely stuck. He told him:

Let's say you are sitting in a room and it's 60 degrees in there. You're cold. The thermostat says the heat is set at 60, the thermometer also says the same thing. Well, until you get up off your butt and go turn up the thermostat, there is NO way that room is going to warm up.

Okay, so you've decided to turn the doggone thing up. So you turn it up to 90 and head back to the sofa. After 10 minutes, you're feeling impatient and you're still cold. You're angry because the thermostat says 90 but the thermometer still reads 60.

Are you willing to be patient so that the thermostat can begin working? It didn't plummet to 60 degrees immediately, and it certainly isn't going to get warmer for awhile. But the good news is that you can do physical things to make yourself feel warmer as the temperature starts to rise.

What can you do to build warmth until the thermostat catches up?

I loved it!

So, dear, what can you do to get over to the thermostat, and then what are you going to do in the interim to build up some internal heat to keep you on this path?

Hugs!

Betsey