I know how it feels. My wife is very business like when it comes to talking about the divorce. She never saw separation as an option and I believe she thinks that once the divorce is official she will feel a weight lift off her shoulders. From everything I hear that is totally wrong. You see most everyone on this board is actually working towards fixing their marriage. On the other hand the spouse is just dead set on bailing on the marriage and not working on themselves. So after the divorce they are actually worse off than we are because we have begun to face our problems and take responsibility for what we did to contribute to the marriage failing. The sad thing is that it takes two people to decide to marry but only one to decide to divorce.
As a stay at home dad I have so much empathy for your situation. I cant imagine how you are dealing right now being pregnant and going through this. The best thing to do is to not put pressure on your H. I know it is hard because I did the same things and by looking for reassurances I drove my wife away. Also stop looking for big break through moments. I did that and still do. Every new change in our marriage I am expecting her to come to her senses but it never happens. From what I've read it is a gradual process. It seems to us like our spouses changed over night. I imagine my wife was kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a clone one night. But the truth is that they always reached this point over a long period of time. We just didn't see it. In my relationship it was because my W grew up in a home where bad things were ignored. Even abuse. So she ignored things and hoped for the best until the walls she built up broke down.
It might help you to accept that things can get worse before they get better. Know that you are on a roller coaster and try not to worry about the lows and don't get too excited about the highs. Find a happy middle ground. Keep that GAL going.
Married:11yr Son:2yr Bomb 8/2011 Asked for divorce 10/2011 Returned 11/2011 WAW 3/2012
