Originally Posted By: TrentC I think this is a common misconception. Ultimatums are controlling behavior; boundaries are not.
An ultimatum is "Do XXX or YYY will happen." Controlling
Quote: A boundary is "I feel WWW when you do XXX. Because of that, if you do XXX then YYY will happen." Boundary because you explain your feelings; which should lead the other person to make an informed choice.
And YYY is OUR behavior.
This was taken from the boundary thread. So much good stuff there, btw. Thank you, gr8!! Now I just need to apply this to my own life. I have so many things to go over with H and I can't even bring myself to see him right now. Its like I'm trying to ignore that this is even happening, which I know isn't healthy. It probably would be best for me to suck it up and move forward with talking about what is to come and what boundaries need to be set, huh. *sigh*
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
