I know my opinion is not popular, and what worked for me may not work for another. But I see no boundaries set between you and your w.
She's tired, wants to nap, you rescue.
The old way won't work anymore if it didn't work before.
She cannot know what life is going to be like without you in it, because you are there a large percentage of time.
I don't know, but, I'd be setting some serious boundaries. If my ex walked out on me, I wouldn't let him use me as a sounding board at all, and, wouldn't let him dine with me, and.... etc.
I would set a boundary, "do not contact unless it's strictly about the kids. Everything else makes me uncomfortable".
I just don't see how she can miss you, WHG.
I guess I need to put my 2x4 away now and wish you the best.
