Found this thread at just the right moment so let's bump it up.
I'm opening to reconciling with my H, and though my heart isn't totally in it, I'm going through the motions.
Here's my aim: to see if we want to be partners again.
What are my actions?
I'm keeping mum about my feelings. I'm observing my H and myself together without analysis. But I do keep on the lookout for signs he cares rather than signs he doesn't. I try to listen and not critique whatever the heck he says.
-- In response, my H reveals himself to me.
-- In response to his revelations (that he goes out dancing a lot, has friendships all over the world that I'm not aware of, has a neighbor who he goes for coffee with every morning) ... I just OBSERVE and BE CALM.
I try to see that he is SHARING WITH ME not hiding from me. I try to see that as a good thing. But sometimes knowing that he has "another life" makes me feel abandoned again.
My heart might race, but I WAIT for it to calm down. The hardest thing is NOT SAYING ANYTHING to him.
He used to reassure me and show me I was his goddess.
Not anymore. I wouldn't believe him anyway. He's had an eye for gorgeous young exotic foreign chicks. How can he come home to vanilla?
That's something I gotta work on -- or maybe it'll be the breaking point for me -- I'm gonna give it time and see.
But whenever I feel left out, I look at my dresser, where I see ticket stubbs to George Clinton and David Bowie and The White Stripes.
Hee hee, got plenty of MEN in my life!
I am IN THE PICTURE -- and it's pretty lively.
Don't mean to hijack this thread, just jotting my current responses to the topic of RECONCILING.
