Hi, My life was turned upside down on FEB 14. Without knowing it I've been doing the 180... My gosh it is hard when you also share a business with your spouse.
FEB 14 I ask my H what was wrong and he told me he didn't love me anymore. Crash & Burned my heart. He told me that he was unhappy and started to cry. First reaction on my end was all the usually stuff, am I not attractive anymore, I'm I too old (I'm 8 years older then my H). He did tell me I was his best friend. And I cried and got pissed off. He asked me if he should leave and promised to take care of me and my son. Holy Crap. I walked away for a few minutes so I wouldn't say something off the cuff. Dusted myself off went to sleep, transferred myself onto the sofa and couldnt sleep a wink that night and met him at work like I have been doing for the last 20 years. We had light conversation for days, didn't question him about his feelings or spoke of mine. After a few nights of getting his back in bed I took the initiative. he seemed fine with that. I really missed him.
We have 14S together and a 26D who he raised from my first marriage. We both were married once before.
Our business takes my H on the road. He has been in France for the past two wks. For the bus. The night before he left I took a room at a hotel because I was either going to cry or scream at him. Friday (13) night I made arrangements for my son so I could be with H alone. When I called him to give him the good news he blurted out No! I was so hurt and it blew me away! I had a few drinks and spoke to him on the phone calmly Later " I am not a drinker and I got toasted" on two drinks. I am not sure what I said, no crying for sure. He told me he had a bad day and wanted to be alone. He always stays a the same hotel for a show we do every month, for years. Yes, I thought he may have been with someone. Before this show he was in Texas for business for about two weeks. This was after FEB 14. When he does these shows the other guys are divorce and are players and braggers, so it hit me that maybe this is MLC. The grass is green on the other side.
Anyway he is due home this week. we spoke the day he left and he was sweet and told me he understood why I didn't want to be home the night before he left. He text me from the AP and told me where his car was parked (always assuming I know what to do). He has called, but not often as he use and no I love you's, just once babe. I haven't said I love you either. I'm always the one to say it first anyway.
He's been buying himself nice gifts and not sharing the details until later on.
I'm picking him up at the AP this week, I don't know whether to do it on my own or take our son too. I'm nervous about how to act. The normal BS how was your trip, you must be beat.... I definitely won't bring "us" up but do I ever? Or months down the road. I did ask him when we spoke before the flight if he was returning back to the house when he returned and he said,"where else would I go?
I am so emotionally drained and confused. trust me I give him space,,, maybe too
