My wife is leaving me..

[2thepoint]

HB - The frustration you are feeling is totally understandable. The world and your emotional stability has been yanked out from underneath your feet and you are hurting, badly.

In order for you to survive this ordeal and possibly save your marriage, you are going to have to do some things that will seem opposite to what you think you should do.

You have already demonstrated that you understand the value of validation and listening. Do more of that. Repeat back what she is saying so that she know you are listening. Empathize with her position on things. When she starts to yell and spew vile comments at you, calmly tell her that you are happy to listen but you will not be spoken to in that way and if it continues you will walk away.

This is setting a boundary of respect and you must enforce that boundary. Don't do it in a way that confrontational. Just tell her what you expect and follow through.

The emotional torment you are experiencing is very painful. I've been there and continue to experience it to this day. The only way to muscle through the pain is to detach emotionally from your W's actions and hurtful comments. It is not easy but it is possible. Getting a life away from the pain is part of the solution. Your exercising and running is a good start. But you need to find other things to occupy your time and your mind. You AA meetings and time with your Church are also helpful.

Have you read Divorce Remedy or Divorce Busting yet? If not, please do so, as soon as possible. If money is short, you can probably find a copy at a used book store.

It is good that you are posting frequently on the forum. Continue to do so. The more you post, the more help you will receive from other forum members. I would also encourage you to read up on other posters situations. There is a ton of wisdom that even if not directly provided to you, can be of help to you and that you can learn from. Make the most of the information available and you will find that you will be better able to weather this storm.

Wishing you all the best. Hang in there!