Having a bad day with a lot of social anxiety. My neighbors are having a cookout for their baby's birthday. I had been looking forward to going- even though I wouldn't know many people. I waited 2 hours to go over- hoping my anxiety would go away (I am not usually socially anxious). Finally I went and was there for maybe 10 minutes before basically having a panic attack and having to come home and call my sister so she'd calm me down. I know it will take awhile for these things to not bother me. But I just kept wondering if anybody knew (even though I didn't know anyone there except I'd met their family briefly). And also being around all the babies was hard. I get nervous I won't have the chance to have children now (I'll be 33 in a few weeks and had anticipated starting our family soon). Now with a possible divorce and the time to heal and then meet someone else and fall in love and be ready to have kids I wonder if it will be too late. I fear that my children won't get to grow up with my nephews like I had hoped. These thoughts make me so angry with my H.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
