golf mom, You are experiencing shock right now and your mind is running on high speed. What you are seeing is a man in crisis and money is no object to him. This is one of the signs of depression as well as part of the mlc. He has now become the mirror image of the man you knew. In other words, the exact opposite.
All you can do is work on yourself and that means everything you do now is for YOU, not him. It doesn't matter if you stand on a street corner w/a tin cup or you are living in a mansion, because your h will continue to see you and the relationship that you shared as the problem. He sees you as the one that is holding him back. His crisis is his and his only and you did not break him, therefore you can't fix him. Please, please understand that you didn't cause this problem and no matter what you did or didn't do, it will not bring him back right now. You can jump over the moon or lay golden eggs and it not bring him back. Any changes that you make now, will have to be changes that you are satisfied w/and will need to become permanent in your life. The bottom line is to live your life as if he will never return or he's on another planet. No one can predict what the outcome will be and how long he will be on the Mother Ship. He will work through it at his own pace and unfortunately, by the time, if he ever does, wake up, you may have moved on and do not want him back into your life on a full time basis.
Please, please try to keep the focus on you and your children. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to his behavior and trying to analyse every word or action is going to drive you absolutely crazy. You have to take care of yourself so that you don't become ill from the lack of sleep, food and stress.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
