Welcome to divorcebusting.com. I'm sorry you are in the middle of turmoil, and especially with three small children. I can imagine that with your situation you would not be happy with his behavior.
You are asking specifically about The Last Resort Technique. Do you have Divorce Remedy, or are you asking because you are familiar with the website?
Your last question is easy...can you salvage this...the answer is 'most likely--yes'...especially if that is your 'position'.
You have purchased three sessions with your DB Coach--who will give you advice that trumps what you see on the board.
Rather than advise you about the LRT (because I'm not sure you're there)....I would rather advise you about how to get the MOST from your DB sessions and this board.
Know what you want. What is your goal--a vague idea is--to save your marriage, to get your husband back. A better way to get recommendations from your coach is to have made notes for yourself about:
What was your relationship like when it was good and you were both happy? That means...what were you both DOING?
What changed (besides 'having' kids)? HOW did it change...what did you DO differently?
You might notice with these answers you begin to take action yourself that starts to work (or doesn't).... SHARE THAT with your coach.
Starting here helps you get the BIGGEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK with your coach.
When you say what you want, don't say, I need shoes. Say I need blue suede shoes, size 6.5 wide with 3 inch heels, if that's what you really want.
Be that specific with your coach:
Don't choose my words, but YOUR version of:
I would like him to watch a TV show with me after the kids go to bed.
I would like him to take me out to dinner every two weeks, and alternate choosing the restaurant.
We often want...MORE LOVE. We often want our partner back. But we want them back to get these little details that we define as love or make us feel loved. Don't start with the big picture..start with the little picture.
To go a longer way to solving the problem yourself:
HOW WOULD YOUR HUSBAND respond if HE were the one going to the coach....in other words....what makes him feel loved, happy, special....
INSTEAD OF DIAGNOSING HIM as a 'classic avoidant'.... .LOOK/LISTEN to understand what it takes to make him happy. However his disposition is, his love for you isn't going to change who he is. Most people are more likely to respond in loving ways when their own needs are being met.
