Once Reconcilliation Has Occurred

[Jamesjohn]

I'm not hearing how others are handling the problem with the double edged sword... any takers??

(I've started to respond to this about 4 times already, and am trying to keep the length down, so I'll just hit on a few things at this time!)

Maybe one of the most helpful things for me is remembering that "Unless they're deaf, they heard you the first time!". It's almost like "seed-planting". It might take some time for what you're saying to really sink in.

On the touchy stuff to talk about, I've had to try to turn my "curse" of procrastination into a "gift". Not really putting off the talks, but more of delaying the time frame in which things need to be resolved. I think that there comes a time in most of these situations when we see things are digressing, and we're ready for a "time-out". "Defensive" responses from either party is usually a good signal.

For us, "brief" works best. Otherwise, it becomes too overwhelming, gets put-off for too long, and then gets out of hand.

When it comes to feelings getting hurt, it works better for us to let the small wounds heal first before inflicting any more damage. For us, a medium hug, and maybe a small kiss, with no words, helps get the healing process started faster. Even if we're still mad at each other!!