W and I met for dinner at a pub Weds night. I hadn't seen her since Monday and it was nice to catch up with her. We had a good light hearted conversation, joking and laughing, but then...I mentioned something about the logistics of her moving in at the end of May. She got quiet and then told me that she had changed her mind. She thinks it will be too hard on both of us and she is going to continue looking for her own place. I tried to remain calm but I will admit that I got upset. I thought we had a plan in place and now it turns out we do not. I am rushing now to get my finances in order. We have joint account right now and she informed me that she has opened her own account and will be having her cheques deposited there beginning June 1st.
I should have left it at that but instead we began discussing who would pay for what. I make twice as much money as her but I don't think it's fair that she can just walk away and expect me to pay off all the debts we acquired together. She asked what I wanted her to do and I said "I want you to pay your share". W said "You know how much money I make, how will I do that?". I snapped at her "I don't know, make more money?". This hurt her and she picked up her coat, thanked me for dinner and walked out of the resturant leaving me sitting there.
We spoke later that evening and we both apologized and moved past it. We are both really trying to be friendly and deal with this as smoothly as possible. I find myself more and more accepting of the fact that this may be the end of my M. At dinner she told me "I know in my heart that we will never be together again". Ouch!
She still texts me everyday to tell me about her day and ask about mine. She final started showing signs that she was depressed and having a hard time with this. I don't like seeing her upset but it made me feel better to know that she at least has emotions about us still.
Another interesting thing happened...W told her friends and family about our separation and they all reached out to me to tell me that wha she was doing was wrong and that I'm a good guy who doesn't deserve this. I think my W was expecting a lot of support from them and she called me in tears about how she thought everyone was being unfair to her. She said she doesn't deserve this and she is just trying to be happy. I tried my best to validate and console her but I agree with what everyone else is telling her. I think she is wrong, that she is making a mistake and that she will regret losing the best man she has ever known
