Needing some guidance... 2

[zig]

hi jks - i know what you mean about feeling clueless about what to do in these situations - that's when i sort of get into panic mode!! i am beginning to realize that it's because i'm trying to 'protect' the situation with h so much that it is overriding taking care of my needs or s's needs and slowly i am starting to move away from that position. but it's very difficult, and maybe it's because we haven't really detached yet - we're so scared of saying no and they can feel it!!

you did your best - and use the chance while the kids are away to take care of yourself and have a little fun?

thanks old-timer for your reply - and i wasn't trying to say that i wanted any control over when s is told - it was more along the lines of the second para you wrote - that i just want us to prepare s for it.

on the other hand - i'm not so sure about the "experts" either. what if we land up with one who thinks it's not such a big deal? or one who gets on h's case and freaks him out?

i really like the way you worded what could be said - it is something that has been weighing on my mind for a while, and i need to find the right way to approach h about it.

thanks
zig