The Climb - Thread #6

[25yearsmlc]

Though I'm not a big fan of measuring and questioning whether our spouses "deserve" our love, or when or how much (b/c I think scorecards damage marriages)...BUT

in your case I'd make an exception...seriously,

Your w already gets a lot from you while giving nothing but pain back.

She gets free baby sitting, tuition, room and board AND a scapegoat to blame all her problems, past present and future, on...

Bottom line, the reactions she gets from you are the same whether she's kind and loving to you, or treats you like crap.

That can't be right,

and it's sure not working. And your kids see it every day, 7 days a week...

Any chance you can go on the trip with your kids and a friend or sibling?

As in, without her?

I think it would be very healthy for you.

I took my kids (not h) to Italy for our 25th anniversary, a trip I'd hoped for and planned to go on with h...but when it became apparent that i'd be strung along til the last minute as to

whether h would come at all or for part of it (bc after all, WORK might call him and that would mean cutting back on a frivolous trip celebrating 25 years of marriage...) OR whether we were really married or working on it or getting divorced...the limbo annoyed me too much and the trip to Italy was something I'd dreamed of and saved for...

so I stopped assuming h would come.

Instead, I took time to plan it with my d's and we had a ball planning it ---it was half the fun...AND then going on it.

Best trip I'd ever had and there was so much LESS stress without h there! Who knew?

I can't speak for h but I am pretty darn sure it bugged him that he wasn't with us,
but even in his fog, he must have known at some level that HE created a situation in which I'd go with our children and without him - and have fun...

so who was losing out more, me or him? I mean it's not a contest but I CHOSE to be happy.

That meant I was going to be happy without him if that's what life brought me.

you need to get to that place Navy, and soon.

Is it pro- m? YES b/c I think it's the only way to turn things around

but if it doesn't,

at least you'll be happier and progressing foward,

that much faster...

You are a good man Navy. At some level you've stopped believing that.

Don't stop believing that.

Don't let her teach you to take this, or convince you thatyou are not a good man or that this is the best you can get... b/c that's a lie. You deserve better.