April, I applaud your positivity but caution you that detachment does not happen in a matter of days. (calling ow a cow is a clear example)
Our spouses left because they chose to blame us for their problems rather than look inside and deal with any of their underlying issues. In finding DB, and these forums and people, we have been given an opportunity to face our own, with support and without the destruction ...
I encourage you to do this. Your words are great, but again ... learning to love yourself does not happen in a matter of days. Are you seeing a therapist? My concern for you relates primarily to your acceptance of a relationship that was so destructive and riddled with infidelity for so long. You blame your young age etc but really, have you dug into WHY your self esteem was so low that you accepted that relationship. I fear you don't truly value yourself.
Being ready to date in the future won't stem from any sort of detachment regarding your marriage, it will be tied strongly to the work you do to get to the bottom of your own stuff. We all have it, and many on here have come to see their separations/divorces as blessings in disguise as it led them into a fantasic journey of self discovery ... it's not easy, but oh boy is it worth it!
Good luck to you! Peace, PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
