Keeping it all together right now is so hard. I'm able to focus at work, although everything is in the back of my mind. When I get home I just burst into tears. I don't know what's going on with me. I haven't been this way for months. S12 is out to dinner with my H. He deliberately picked him up before I got off work so (I'm assuming) he wouldn't have to see me. Both of the boys are seeing him on Sunday. So there's been some progress with their relationship and I'm glad about that. It does hurt, though, that I know he's dating (don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answer to) and he's making time for the boys and I have no one to take care of me. I miss hugs, "I love you" and our time together. I'm feeling the pressure of all the mom stuff, working and dealing with the D. I miss my old life terribly.
