Thank you, I looked up that song... I AM young. I do still have a lot more life to live. It is so true.
Tonight I went to dinner with my mom and her H and while my mom was waiting in line to pay for the food a lady in front of her said, "Is that your daughter?" My mom said, "yes." The lady said, "Oh, she is so beautiful." (I was standing on the other side of the room.)
I'm not gonna lie, it made my night. When my mom came and sat down and told me what she said I thought, you should have said... tell that to her H. Ha, ha!!
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
I'm glad to hear that news. The power of positive thinking will get you through this garbage.
You rock.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
jks, i felt the way you do now. during the searation I thought to myself what woman would want a D, 40yo guy with two little kids. Once I got my head on straight and started to venture out into the dating world, I found there were planty of women interested.
You will get there too.
have a gr8 day
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
JKS--I am 43 and was pretty scared of the whole starting over thing. While things are not final yet (I file May 9), I am actually excited about the prospect of meeting new people. I am older now and know what I want in a partner. I am NOT looking to find the first someone and marry again, but down the road.....who knows.
Embrace this new journey...that's part of the fun. It will get easier with time.
A couple minutes ago H just texted me to tell me to pack warm clothes for my kids and their coats. I said what am I packing for? He said... camping.
This may not seem like a big deal but this is my reality. I am no longer a part of anything. I would give anything to be going camping with my family for the weekend. I can't even imagine how Christmas is going to be. No doubt OW is going with him and probably other people in his family or friends from their work. How is it that I am so easily replaced?
I cannot stop crying. I don't know how to do this. I will forever have to hear about him and her and I just don't think I can take it.
I just feel like I keep getting punched in the stomach over and over again. I just want it to stop.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
A couple minutes ago H just texted me to tell me to pack warm clothes for my kids and their coats. I said what am I packing for? He said... camping.
You didn't do this, did you? He fired you as a W and wants you to do things for him?
Letting go is hard. It takes time. However once you have truly let go you will feel reborn.
As stated above, I also know what I want in a new partner. I'm not settling for cr@p, I want it all or nothing.
Take care of yourself. Have fun this weekend, try something that's uncharacteristic of yourself. Yoga class, country line dancing whatever it is start experiencing new thongs in your life.
Sometimes good bye is a second chance.
That chance may be with someone new or maybe down the road your H will realize what he threw away.
The reality of D is strong.
Hugs
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
JKS, I've been living with my H's PA since last August. Focus on taking care of yourself. I love the advice from gr8. It will take time to heal, let yourself feel the pain, and you will grow from it.
I've decided to separate from my H and along the way I've met new friends and a new guy. Not really ready for any type of serious relationship...but you are young and you will be happy again!
I'm really in a place now where I've detached and I'd rather be alone than dealing with H and his issues. If he ever really had an awakening...maybe I'd try again. For now though, I'm not interested.
Hang in there...it's taken 7-8 months to get where I am.
M: 43, H: 45 Married 12 years PA started 8/2011 I discovered 9/15/2011 Made decision to separate 1/12, divorce filed 3/12
M 44, H 46 D11, D9, D5 Married 12 years PA confirmed 9/2011 I filed 3/2012 H moved out 7/2012
You have no business dating right now. Leave it alone.
Quit waiting to be taken care of, take care of yourself.
H's behavior with the kids is not OK. Telling them to lie to you is not OK. Taking them on an overnight trip with OW right now is not OK. Trust me, I am not one who tries to get people to keep the kids away from OP. It is generally best to accept it.
But, this situation is too new and too unstable. If I were you, I'd text:
"I'm concerned about the kids. An out-of-town trip with you and OW is not appropriate for them right now. I understand that she'll be going camping with you, so I'll make other arrangements for childcare while you are on your trip. If I've misunderstood, let me know."
jks - i'm sort of feeling the same as you -very similar time frame too. and i agree with old timer and the way the text was worded.
stay strong - and it's okay to cry and feel horrible, but try to have one moment in between where you think of something that makes you feel good.
oldtimer - not trying to butt in or hijack - but since you guys are on the topic about kids meeting OP.:
my question is how can this be handled during DB'ing? do we leave it to WAS to decide on their own and not known to us when they tell kids about OP , or can it be dealt with that WAS and LBS can decide together and prepare for it?
would love to hear your opinion about this
thanks zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
