My kids never had anything do OW - their choice, and still very very little to do with their father. Again all their choice. I always encouraged them to have contact if they asked me about it.
Now they see him 2/3 times a year for an hour or so, max, and always on his own. My middle son spent a little time with him the summer before last with his then gf, but he[xh] totally freaked her [the gf] out. All the sons' serious gfs/wives who have met him find him weird beyond anything, and they always come back and say 'How come you are all so NORMAL'
Odd that those who didn't know him before, find the person he now is very strange, and not someone they want to be around.
So kids who are adult do not always want to hang out with their MLCer father. And my xh STILL totally doesn't get it, and is alternatively grumpy and pathetic about it. He sees no link between the way they are, and his behaviour either at the time he left, or subsequently, and the way they feel and act towards him. He simply isn't the man he was, and the man he is now, sadly, isn't very nice at all. And creepy. It is awful but I can imagine my xh as he now is capable of anything, truly. And I do not like that. Everyone has told me to be very careful. So your instincts about OW were probably right.
We are simply an inconvenience to them. And losing his family wn't hit him for quite a while, because he will justify it to himself, and the OW will likely poison his mind against them - and he will listen instead of thinking 'Is this true'. It is all so very very sad this MLC stuff. And while I do not blame OW, it certainly provides an opportunity for unscrupulous women to make capital out of someone's infatuation, instead of saying, like a nice woman, 'Listen honey, go and patch it all up with your nice wife, Work on it, I can tell you it will be worth in in the long run'
