First things first. It doesnt really matter if it's MLC or not right now.
You still need to try to db.
And it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do. You are still so early into this.
I know it is hard to see past the enormous white elephant of your h, but, that it exactly what you need to do.
Here's the thing. You need to make changes for you. And only you. That is the only way he will believe them.
Trust me, he knows right where to find you.
So, you have to decide who you want to be. And then try to be that person everyday. Some days you make it, some you dont,but that should always be the goal.
And you need to let him walk his own journey.
I will tell you that calling him is not a good idea. He feels you are not hearing him and that you havent changed.
You become the best you. A nd even though you dont see him much, every interaction, is a chance for him to see who you are becoming.
Who do you want him to see? A strong, intelligent, independent GM right?
Calling him wasnt a good idea. Now you know better so you'll do better.
This is hard stuff. You are going to backslide. It happens. But it really is best if you put the focus on you and your children and let him blow in the wind for now.
