JB, it's about time. I was beginning to think she had darn near lost her mind if she couldn't see what a good man...no make that a great man she was losing.
I'm actually not all that surprised (more happy for you than surprised) because we have all seen it written so many times here on DB...that when they truly feel you detaching, when you are truly ready to move on without them and let them go, then and only then will they want to see if you are still there waiting for them.
And only then will they begin to think about coming home.
But you let her know in a very loving way that while the door is still open, that perhaps you might not be waiting for her forever. That you are growing and she is standing still...
I think she does want to join you in that growth. I think she is intrigued by your changes but she is afraid.
You know what to do so no advice needed. Just keep doing what you've always done. Be strong, loving and patient.
As for the "finding herself", okay, I am not a fan of that expression. Grown-ups don't need to find themselves. If she looks on her marriage license or on her driver's license or asks her son, she will know exactly who she is. Okay, don't tell her any of that but seriously, finding oneself is not hard. It's usually the person wearing your shoes.
If she looks on her marriage license or on her driver's license or asks her son, she will know exactly who she is. Okay, don't tell her any of that but seriously, finding oneself is not hard. It's usually the person wearing your shoes. 
