This affair isn't about you. It's about him. He is looking for someone or something to make him feel good about himself. He has an internal void he is looking to fill. My H has the same problem.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Thanks, WH! I know it's not really about me, but obviously he was missing 'something' from us that he found in this girl that he still with...ugghh!
Well, I'm off to dinner to watch a few sports' games...maybe there will be some cute guys there!
I hope you have a great night!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
He did not choose her over you -- don't look at it that way. He cheated and lied. You absolutely cannot compete with the danger and excitement of an affair no matter how great you are. Its not about you and you cannot be compared. If you find yourself thinking that way, do your best to stop yourself
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
Thank you Accuray for putting it into perspective! You are right and I'm going to try to stop thinking like that on my down moment!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
I am going out with friends tonight, which will be a fun time! I just have to not think that it is my H's weekend off work and normally we would be doing something together and now he's most likely doing something with his gf.
17 days of going dark...no contact on either end and really trying to detach. I'm getting there day by day....
**I can't believe I'm 2 1/2 months into this separation...heading towards divorce!!!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
I hope you have a great weekend. I totally get all your fears and frustrations. I'm trying to stay out of my head as much as possible and I hope you do the same. Today has been 14 days of no word from W. I sent her a letter via snail mail on Tues so it should be getting to her soon, even today. I'm trying to just not think about it but it's tough.
Out of curiosity, are a lot of your friends single or married?
M:28 | W:28 | T:4.5 | M:2.5 | No Children EA1 Uncovered: Jun 2011 EA2 Uncovered: 2011-09-29 S: 2011-09-29 I'm moving on: 2012-05-08 My story: http://bit.ly/K3ttPM
Well, a few (3) of my girlfriends are single and the other group is all married (3 couples), so it's tough! I also have friends that have bfs. As for guy friends, they are all taken by gfs, too!
However, all of my H friends are mostly single except for one couple that we used to hang out with mutually.
Keep staying strong!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
That's a lot like me. W has mostly single friends, and more guy friends due to her career. Meanwhile most of my friends are married, and don't really have any close chick friends.
Makes it a bit hard to get the jealousy going Nothing like making them jealous by going to a married chick friend's kid's 2nd birthday haha.
But we press on nonetheless!
M:28 | W:28 | T:4.5 | M:2.5 | No Children EA1 Uncovered: Jun 2011 EA2 Uncovered: 2011-09-29 S: 2011-09-29 I'm moving on: 2012-05-08 My story: http://bit.ly/K3ttPM
I know what you mean about the jealousy thing. I am slowly coming to realize though that if I'm happy and living my life that is something that he can be jealous of.
I know he can't be truly happy with his life and the decisions he has made. A lot of his friends have lost total respect for him and he will not hang out with the friends that are married. He has only been hanging out with (from what I hear) friends from work who are okay with what he is doing because most of the ppl at his work have done this, too!
However, I don't really care anymore what he is doing or not doing, because I am having a good time with family and friends and trying to stay busy. Do I have my ups and downs EVERY day?!?! YES!!!!! Do I still want him home? YESSS!
Like you said, we press on nonethless!
AND--18 days into going dark and still NOTHING! He has furniture and memorabilia things at our house still and he had this weekend off and he still didn't come get it.
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
Nothing like making them jealous by going to a married chick friend's kid's 2nd birthday haha.