I'd strongly suggest that you and your wife -- as part of your reconcilation -- commit to a MUTUAL transparency plan with each other.
Have you two discussed no-contact and transparency? Preferably, this would be introduce by a good MC/FT, specifically trained in dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, but the two of you could do it on your own, too.
You're either both "all in" on this, or you're not. The FEELINGS will take a long time to return, but the DECISION can me back now. As they taught us as Retrouvaille, "Love is a decision" . . . right?
