As for the ow, your sister needs to stop engaging her. The ow could be dangerous and and it doesn't take much to send someone this nutty over the edge.
I second this - seriously, this is a woman you once had an intuition might push you off a cliff! Don't underestimate her potential for mayhem. Tell your sister she is endangering you by stirring up this nutcase.
As for planning for your future - I understand your desire to move and get settled. And in this market, buying sooner rather than later is probably a good idea - which is unfortunate, because you really don't have a good idea of where your life is going, it's not a good time to buy. But given that you have to sell at this low point in the market, you don't want to end up priced out.
Will your kids be able to move with you that quickly? Or should you consider buying a property where you want to end up and renting it out, while you stay in Hawaii and work for a while until the kids are ready to move?
I know you don't really want to take a job now, since you may move and frankly, I don't know how it would affect your divorce settlement. But looking forward, you need to find gainful employment so that you can be financially safe. And living well is the best revenge - so becoming wildly successful sounds good
