Hi Ro - you are in fact a very caring person. You feel so angry at H and yet you clearly love him and have compassion for his knee pain and upcoming surgery. One thing you might consider is setting a date to think about your sitch again, post-surgery, and just bury it in your mind until that date.

As much as someone else would be justified in kicking him out now and letting him deal with his surgery the way some single dude would have to, that doesn't sound like you. You'll take care of him because that is who you are, not because he's earned it. So take the pressure off yourself by waiting all the way until it's over before you think about the sitch.

Who knows, the time and events may help clarify things in H's mind.

Of all the choices you have, I see that one as fitting your values. What do you think?

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.