I can tell you from my personal crises that I was very messed up. You are probably right about her trying to justify what she's doing. I did like most WAW's and the fog was so thick that I decided I had never really fell in love with my H and that it was just teenage infatuation.
Right now, you don't know her b/c she's not the girl you M. She doesn't even know herself. She may pretend to have found peace and like her life separated, but I bet she struggles with her share of confusion.
You spoke of how her neighbor acted when you went by your W's place, and wondered what she might be telling people. Part of trying to justify her feelings & actions is painting you to look worse than you probably are.
People have different opinions about separation, but a WAW who is thinking of other man or men wants her freedom and privacy to do what she wants to do without a H interfering. You can call it cooling off or giving space, but for some WAW's....getting the H to S is the main step, and after that, then she feels she has the hardest part behind her and the rest will be easier to make happen (whatever that may be). Many WAS's give the LBS the impression that separation is needed and will be only a short period and they'll be back together. However, if there is a third party involved or the WAS wants to have another person involved....then they aren't likely to be thinking of R the M at this point. That's not to say R will never happen, but I'm trying to tell you that she's not ready for it to happen right now.
I'm telling you this so you will start to do something with yourself, and for yourself. Stop snooping the Internet b/c it will drive you crazy! You will never be able to move forward. Please do not decide to go over to her place anymore to see where things stand. You won't like the answer.
You need to get some tapes to listen to while you're working. If you are a Christian, there are millions of studies to be involved in, plus grow spiritually while you're growing the farm. You can find some motivational books on tape or inspiring music (stay away from the country blues... ) But you've got to listen to something that will keep your mind focused instead of thinking about her all the time. When you're in that tractor, turn the tapes on and start taking in some good soul food.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
You can find some motivational books on tape or inspiring music (stay away from the country blues... 
) But you've got to listen to something that will keep your mind focused instead of thinking about her all the time. When you're in that tractor, turn the tapes on and start taking in some good soul food.