Picking up where we left off . . . I'm OnMyWay

[OnMyWay]

This is all a lot of writing. I admit it to be a condensed version of a MUCH larger story, but I think the major points are clear. I believe I've made many mistakes here, so 2x4's are not necessarily needed. On the other hand, of all that I did right getting to this point, there's little my W would ever give me credit for. And that's ok as, as she points out to me regularly, we are STILL here and still trying to figure it out; that is worth a lot, if you ask me. I give her tons of credit for that one thing alone.

After our Retrouvaille weekend, life came crashing back in on us Monday morning as I went off to work and she hit the books to study for a final exam. Retrouvaille left us both something - not necessarily the same thing, but something to each of us. For me, the biggest thing was sharper clarity on who I am, why I may be this way, and that I need to understand that I have difficulty conveying what I really think and feel; I'm a man, so that is not unexpected. We also learned that everyone is going through the same things as we are. We certainly communicate much more effectively and that is worth everything!

There's a follow up program that goes for 13 weeks. Assuming W didn't discover her fix-all epiphany and knowing I have to rearrange my work schedule to attend the followups, I was unsure what she would decide to do. I called her Monday morning from work and asked her if she wanted to continue. She was very certain in answering yes. That night at home, we did our work together, practiced communicating and worked on good habits. As I left for bed and her to her studies, I asked for a hug. I got a great one and a smile, too.

Last night, she was a little chilly, but admitted the "new information" has been weighing pretty heavily on her, as she's not sure what to do with it. I mentioned it is all in the past, where it belongs. I'm leaving that alone for now as she knows to communicate her feelings if she wants to and I'll listen & understand. In about an hour, we'll repeat our process/program for the evening, so I'll most likely get an update. Tonight could be totally different, but as long as we are working it, tomorrow will be another day.

We are now back to one-day-at-a-time. For now, that's a real good place to be.

I'm OnMyWay. Thanks for reading my story. I'm sure there'll be much more to come.

My best to you all.