I have the same concerns and told myself that I would still give her space, not call, text or e-mail her. I asked what I could do and she said "be there for her.". Told her I would be. She told me that when something is going on in her life she likes to be left alone, but likes talking to me.
I will keep doing what I have been. This is something I not been through so I think the best thing to do is just listen.
Well when she says "be there for me" what does that mean? I would ask "what does it look like when I'm there for you? What am I doing and /or not doing?"
It is assuming that we know what these vague statements mean that often gets us into trouble.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
just read your thread and feel a little envious! Good Luck for the future...
Accuracy - you seem to read a lot of books - any advice on which ones to read if the WAW is not willing to work on the marriage, for those of us in limbo. Is there anyway to connect to the WAW love languages without pursuing?
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
You are a mind reader b/c I did ask her this question. In her eyes this means that I will stop doing whatever it is to take a call and listen to her. In person this means that I will give her my undivided attention. Both of which I normally try to do.
This morning was ok, made W laugh a few times and despite what's going on she is looking forward to going out Friday Night. I asked that she bump up her next appointment from Monday to as early as today.
She has an appointment for a massage this afternoon after work so I hope that this will relax her a little. She asked for a hug and I gave it. Again just mostly listening to her. My fingers are crossed.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
W texted me this morning and told me that she had her test moved up to 3:30 this afternoon. I have been nervous about this since Tuesday. I had a court hearing in person and was not home until 4:00. She was not going to be home until after 6:00 since she was going for a massage. I admit I was nervous about it and wanted her to call ASAP.
I was getting anxious and did not want to bother her so I took the kids to the park and came home an hour after she came home. She took a muscle relaxer for her back and was pretty out of it by the time we got home.
She told me that the cells were precancerous and that she could either take a pill for it or that she would have to have a hysterectomy. She would have the biopsy results shortly.
I left it at that, got the kids ready for bed and then headed back to the office. She needed a few things from the store and I also bought a card telling her to hang in there. I put the card in her work pack back.
I am looking forward to spending some alone time with her on Friday Night. We never have a problem talking, but this health scare has thrown me for a loop. I was going to approach the "date" with no heavy R/M talk, I think I will throw in health talk as well.
I printed the four rules going forward that you posted and am now memorizing. Have to be good about the hot/cold.
I really am trying to treat this as a "first" date. On a first date I would rarely talk and was not concerned about the future. In my eyes this is the first date with the new SIW, so I guess I am not that crazy right?
