"I hope my H seeks the IC he needs. I think he is starting to see the importance of it. We'll see if he takes the next step. He's so resistant to it, though. "
Wrong. You don't "hope" he gets IC. He must get IC. Make it your boundary. If not, you will find yourself here again.
Since he's resistant to it, then don't take him back. He's still thinking about himself and what he feels comfortable with. He's not thinking about how much shame you had to go through in dealing with his selfish affair.
At what point does he stop being selfish and start thinking about YOUR NEEDS? Don't enable him.
