My w did the same thing w/ new clothes and dressing sexy, etc.. She even went out and got her first tatoo.
It used to irritate the ish out of me but I'm past that.
As well as they hide it i think they are very confused and also in pain and are looking for ways to feel better or different but who knows?
All I know is we have zero control over it. Recognize the triggers that get under your skin and really look at them and try to find what is behind that reaction. And then do your best to just let it go. Their is nothing you can do about it.
Update-I talked to my church leader about my situation as I having been laying low in the aspect of life. It was good and he was aware we were separated.
I had some fun rabbit hunting with some buddies today. It was good to get away and just enjoy the outdoors. I did come home way tired and decided to skip on my S's soccer practice but my W had him anyway. I called to let her know I was not coming and to please bring his soccer stuff when I get him tomorrow so I can have him ready for the game. Honestly I didn't want to go to soccer practice because I just didn't want to see my W. I still have something deep down inside of me that just can't let go or something so when I see her it just bothers me or frazzles me. Detachment issues still there I guess.
She did ask me to have our S next Friday so she can run her race Saturday morning. I said that was ok but after hanging up I realized I just catered to her schedule again. Part of me knows that if I don't watch my S he will end up with one of her girlfriends that I don't even know or my W's father's house were drinking, smoking, and other things go on in front of little kids that are not good. My S is the only victim here when I don't take him. I'm I just a fool for watching him for her or what:(?
No update from her L on revising the papers nor has she mentioned it. Not sure where that is going?
Me:29 W:28 S:2 M: 5 years Bomb: 7-26-11 Separated: 8-20-11 EA w/ multiple OMs W filed 1/2012
Went to my sons first soccer game that my W is the coach of and things went well. I coached as well by helping on the little kids figure which way they were suppose to be kicking the ball.
My parents came to the guy because they come to all there grandkid's games and my W was very surprise to see them since they have not seen each other for 7-8 months. My W said to me in a little panick I didn't know your parents were coming, am I suppose to say something to them. I said they decided on there own to come and didn't respond to the other question.
My S ended up running over to my parents to hug them and play with them while he was substitute waiting to play. We got to half time and my W go oh sh*t I forgot the treats for the end of the game at my house can you do me a favor and run to the grocery store to get something. I agreed to do so and then my parents saw me walking towards the car and asked me where I was going. I explained the situation and they offered to go. I was ok with them going because I didn't want to miss any of my son's game. My W starting saying they don't need to go but I said it was ok.
The game continued to its end and we passed out the treats the my parents got. My W thanked my parents and thanked me as well. All in all I guess it was a positive experience.
My W tried to force me to give up a day because I'm picking my S up on Friday night because she is running a race early Saturday morning. I first agreed to switch the day because she was so persistent but I then was able to explain that I don't think I should have to give her a day because she decided to run a race even if it is before her vacation. My W is already getting my S for a week before trip so giving her one more day was not acceptable to me.
I feel it is ironic that I'm watching my S while she runs but she claims in the past I never supported her running but she knows the race is so early again that our S needs to be watch. I know supporting her in running takes more than just watching our S but I'm still watching him for her and in fact I'm picking him up on Monday which is a day I'm giving her before her trip because she has a final in school. Am I just being silly or what? I do it for my S because I want to watch him rather than the options my W will use.
No progress or talk on the D for quite sometime it feels like. I don't know what to think of my situation at this point but I'm just continuing to detach and GAL as much as I can. Things here and there get me upset but doing better day by day. My S misses his mommy more and more and asks more and more as he nears 3 years old but I'm getting through it. I have read many other posts and taken solace in other people's stitches. I have grown a lot in this process and learned a lot about myself. Not sure where this journey is going but I know the point of the journey is to improve me.
I'm trying to be compassionate but not a doormat at the same time. Tough line to walk.
Me:29 W:28 S:2 M: 5 years Bomb: 7-26-11 Separated: 8-20-11 EA w/ multiple OMs W filed 1/2012
No progress or talk on the D for quite sometime it feels like. I don't know what to think of my situation at this point but I'm just continuing to detach and GAL as much as I can. Things here and there get me upset but doing better day by day. My S misses his mommy more and more and asks more and more as he nears 3 years old but I'm getting through it. I have read many other posts and taken solace in other people's stitches. I have grown a lot in this process and learned a lot about myself. Not sure where this journey is going but I know the point of the journey is to improve me.
I'm trying to be compassionate but not a doormat at the same time. Tough line to walk.
Hey Snow- I'm glad you and your family had a great expericence at his first game. Definitely cherish those good times.
I'm feeling very similar to your words above except I just received formal separation papers from w's L.
GAL'ing and doing my best to detach are my primary goals and I think it is the best prescription for us at this time in our sitch's.
Compassion vs. doormat is definitely a tough line to walk and I struggle with that as well.
Keep on keeping on and know that you are not alone.
Well this is what I get for saying nothing new on the D front. I got an email from my lawyer with updates papers, oh joy. I think I'm going to ask that I be allowed to short sale my home and be done with the whole thing since my W and her L are being so kind to award me a house that is $50k under water and somehow are demanding I refinance so she can be taken off the loan, fat chance.
My W emailed me about getting her auto policy and what is the log-in info for our cell phone. I gave her our insurance agents contact info and informed her that she could setup her own log-in for our cell phone and that I will be switching carriers next month. This cell phone question of course got my cogs running and I gave in to temptation and check our records which I have not done for quite a while. You can probably guess what I saw, constant calling and texting to numerous men. In fact most of the phone records show contact with various men close and far which makes me think she is online dating or otherwise. Anyway I know I shouldn't have done it but my W is on the look for the next best thing and I will let her find it. She continues to live in a very open marriage and does not care. I need to move on.
SAIS-Thanks for the support and I know the feeling of getting papers, not fun. Every time I get my updated papers in my email its a little jab to the heart.
Chatterbug-I kept the day she was trying to get so we are good there. I had been recording everything for quite some time but I have slacked off the last little while. I need to get back to work on that effort.
I agree being compassionate when OM(s) are in the picture does drive me crazy. I laugh that you use the bank manager example as I work in the banking but not in a branch.
Thanks for the support and good advice, I needed it today as it was a rough day at work and at home, one of these days were nothing goes right.
Me:29 W:28 S:2 M: 5 years Bomb: 7-26-11 Separated: 8-20-11 EA w/ multiple OMs W filed 1/2012
No problem my friend. It is very tough spot. You are doing very well. You are not even a year into the bomb yet. So my goal is to help you get to a point where when you hit the triggers of a year ago.... You can function. For your son. For you. And also for your wife.
Though you both may not realize it yet. With you being sane. You are helping both your futures. Which ultimately helps your sons future.
Just keep moving forward and controlling your life.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Went to my sons soccer practice and a crazy accident happened to my S. He was messing around in the minnie soccer goal net and ended up snagging his teeth and pulling a tooth straight out of his mouth. Blood was every where and we don't know really what happened. He is with my W now and we are going to try to get him into a dentist tomorrow to make sure things are ok. The pure kid probably won't have a tooth there for many years in the future. My sister has a dentist friend that somewhat gave me a consult through text and picture messages so we hope everything is ok. Man what a crazy evening.
I need to figure out the house thing with my D but I'm not going to pursue that at this moment with my S's accident and my W going out of town. I'm just worried about my S at this point. Another fun day in the books.
Me:29 W:28 S:2 M: 5 years Bomb: 7-26-11 Separated: 8-20-11 EA w/ multiple OMs W filed 1/2012
Wow, that's terrible Snow, sorry. At least it wasn't an adult tooth. Christmas morning when I was 4 I crashed and busted my face and lost my front tooth. Their was a hole for like 2 years.
