Kimmerz, we are so similar. Like you, I've read a ton since my H left. I've learned so much about myself and I think, in large part thanks to contributors here, that I have him somewhat figured out also. It is my nature to understand people and situations as part of accepting and coping with what is, but also looking for a way to fix things. As long as I'm willing to search, understand and contribute to a fix then hope is kept alive. Even though, like you, I'm moving forward in many ways, it's too soon to give up on my M. Unfortunately, our H's needed a quick fix to their unhappiness and haven't excepted the challenge and opportunity of the journey. I can imagine that long after my D is final I will still want to understand and hope for a miracle. I believe in my M and believe my H is not well. Some might feel that is being stuck, but for me it's truly not. Also, for what it's worth, I have read numerous places that it will take one year for every five you were together to heal. If that's true then you're very much at the beginning for your healing journey.
