H is scheduled for knee surgery on May 8th. It's orthoscopic and will be quick, so the recovery time is minimal. Of course he hasn't said anything else about moving out since he found this out. I'm really trying not to get resentful that he is just using the house as his recovery zone, and me as his nursemaid. Of course if I didn't help him out, that probably would be another thing on his checklist that I did wrong. (Me not being as kind and gentle as he thinks I should be when he's sick is one of his issues)
So I keep telling myself to have no expectations and just roll with it. (Which is SO hard!) How DO you detach from someone who gives backrubs when you say you're in pain, and kisses and hugs you everyday, and says I love you? UGH!
I do deserve a kudos for yesterday though. I MADE myself go workout. I haven't really worked out but once or twice in a good 2 months. I probably shouldn't have because of my back, but I did do low impact for a good 30 mins. I SO did not want to go, but I know eventually I have to start exercising again if I want to keep this weight off.
I've been doing lots of soul searching and looking inward. Some of the stuff I see is ugly, raw, and just not fun. But I'm doing it. I've had "self" issues basically my whole life, so it's going to take lots of work to get through them.
I'm still not sure on the status of H's A, but I do know they still communicate. (LONG story there, but let's just say she makes sure I see her tweets on Twitter) We have been spending more time together in the evenings, which never used to happen. He even made a comment on Sunday that he can't believe that I love Game of Thrones. (This is what he watched while I was sick with the virus in February, and I got hooked) We almost never like the same shows. I just told him I watched last season, and HAD to see what happened now. Thinking about it now, I might have said something about I liked spending time with him (we usually make it a dinner & show kind of night), which would be the truth. Not sure how that would have been received though.
Anyway, just going along, one footstep at a time. I've been advised do nothing, kick H out, and some other stuff that I probably should not write down. LOL I don't think we're at a crossroads yet, but could be getting close because who in their right mind stays in a 3 person marriage?
