Not sure where to start, Part 2

[wishing, hoping]

@ Brooklyn I joked with H that he could get me a replica crown like the one he wanted to get D so we could be matching divas. That made him laugh. Also, my DB coach told me to get a great smelling candle for the home. She said pumpkin pie sent or bread baking stimulates the senses and gives a homey feel. I bought one that smells like cinnamon french toast and it does stimulate the senses. Not easy to find a pumpkin pie scented candle this time of the year.

@ April your post made me LOL! I am guilty over the years of letting my appearance get too "comfortable". So I make a point of styling my hair, putting on makeup, wearing jewelry, nice clothes, etc to make myself feel better. I had problems getting rid of the baby weight so my "sexy" clothes never fit me right after I had kids and I guess I let it affect my self-esteem. Not anymore. The Divorce Diet took care of that.

Maybe him being gone overseas will give him a chance to reflect on things. I can't have expectations, but I can have hope.

As far as my hostility towards him, I have been thinking about that. I have a very dry sense of humor and I think sometimes I kid with him and he thinks I am criticizing him or calling him out when I am just teasing. I often have to tell him "that was a joke" and then he will laugh. So I guess I need to watch what I say and second guess if it may come out as hurtful or not. It is hard because I never intend to be mean, but I will try and use a filter when I speak to H. But in the same respect I don't want to become someone I am not.