Thanks Nblost. Just an emotional day. School events are hard because it seems like everyone is married. But honestly before the bomb was even dropped I was usually alone at school functions. But it feels different now.
And H flew out of the country today and normally he would call. But no call. I didnt expect one but it Would have been nice.
Busy week all week with kids stuff. Hopefully can keep my mind off things.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So I ordered some new clothes via an online store and they came today. I needed new pants since I have lost about 25 pounds on the divorce diet. I also ordered a new clingy top and a spur of the moment purchase....a sequin miniskirt. Looks awesome! Especially with the new heels! Now I just need to find somewhere to wear it!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
So today I am wearing the new clothes I got plus the new shoes. I do feel like a new woman. : )
Unfortunately it is raining cats and dogs right now and it isn't doing very much for my mood. I am still upset that H didn't try to call the kids last night. I guess I didn't expect him to want to talk to me, but I thought he would try to contact the kids. Geez this hurts. This detaching thing is just not coming easily to me. I feel like if I detach I have to pull away completely and almost be cold or if I am loving I feel like I am pursuing. It is difficult to find that perfect balance.
Another busy evening with S's soccer practice and D's soccer pictures. Maybe we will get take out tonight or maybe stop for ice cream. : )
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So great that your bought some new clothes. Dont wait for a night out to wear you new clothes find a way to wear them on a regular day, maybe the top with jeans. Pretend you are headed somewhere later.
I think next time your H offers to buy you something you should take him up on it. I think taking him up on any offer is a form a validate.
Maybe think about what you can do to make your home even more homey when H returns. Nothing to different, but a good cleaning or softer lighting, subtle things to contrast cold hotel rooms.
Hang in there, you are doing great.
Loved the cheer AprilT posted
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
W&H I always find ways to wear things that make me feel good. I am an elementary teacher by trade and wear 3 and 4 inch heels to work just about every day. Why?? They make me feel good. I also always try to look fabulous just because. I don't need an excuse, but I will say when people tell me how good I look, it boosts my confidence just that much more.
My STBXH is missing out, and the current cow is welcome to him. Someone wonderful and kind and loving is in my future....and when he comes, I will be ready because I took the time to get to know me again. And when I see the respect and love in my adult children'e eyes at how I am conducting myself, it makes everything all right.
You are going to be okay--better than okay. Your children are going to remember how their mother conducted herself and that is going to serve as a learning life lesson for them. Keep the faith sista!!!!!
