I would agree that you got a different wording of ILYB...
Your W hasn't left, yet... because she is at worst, still trying to convince herself to leave... and there are two things she's weighing... both are very likely from a place of fear...
+ staying and things stay the same or get worse...
+ leaving and things are no better... or will be worse...
I've made some personal upgrades since we split, but nothing major... I really do like who I was and those qualities, I've reclaimed... I was not trying to be the better option, because I didn't think it was a competition if she truly was considering an OP over me...
The truth as I know it is, my W liked me when we started dating and when we got M... the person I was... and then I allowed myself to change in ways that were not positive for the M... I don't remember if I promised her the world... if I know myself as well as I should, then I doubt it... that might have been her unconscious expectations, though...
The better option for my W is a knight in shining armour... maybe she'll find him or maybe she won't...
I won't be that knight... I don't want to be back on a pedestal with my W thinking that I can and will save her and provide her with all the pomp and luxeries that she believes she wants... because I've been down that road and I know that humans often disappoint each other's expectations...
The only way for my W to know if she wants to be with me, is to be with me... to test whether or not I am capable of not falling back into bad patterns... until she engages me in that way... then she will never know if she wants to be with me...
If you have some intrinsic character "flaws"... fix them... otherwise, be your authentic self... the person she Md... be "more" of that as you can... that you can sustain and you want to be...
If you are anything more than you can't sustain for the rest of your life... you'd be setting yourself up for failure...
