The coming month is going to be very trying. Folks remind me to leave things in God's hand...to let it go, because he knows what best for our son. Well, the leaving-it-with-God part is really the toughest part for me. I can't bear to imagine if the courts (or He) say that what's best for our son is life without me or less of me.
Of course, that just reveals a lack of faith and trust on my part and exposes the fragility of my being right now.
It's so easy to lash out, but I won't.
It's so tempting to be angry and spiteful at my wife, but I won't.
It's so easy point fingers, but I will keep looking at myself first.
It's so easy to go the worldly route, so I will look to God instead.
It's so hard to love and forgive, but I will because it's the right thing to do.
SIDENOTE Attended my first two online SLAA meetings yesterday evening (@two separate sites). Here I thought I had a bad case of addiction... many of the good folks there have it really serious and struggle with it way more than I do. It's really humbling actually. There are more female sex addicts out there than I thought. From the meetings I've been in, they are the majority.
UPDATE Hmm, I thought my wife would've been served with the custody court order by now, because I received the following email from her implying that she hasn't. Or could she have a different intention here? Thoughts?
"Hi Alamo,
I'm wondering if we could sit down and discuss whether or not you'll be moving to SC, and if not, how we should arrange your time with E. My graduation date and move date is fast approaching, and I'm kinda surprised you haven't made any plans to discuss with me. I take your lack of action as a suggestion that you plan to just allow me to move with E with no intention of seeing him again. If this is your plan just let me know.
I would respond to her saying that your son is the most important thing to you and that she should be receiving legal documents shortly.
I have to say, that second to the last sentence is your W being a b*tch. That was pretty heartless of her to say something like that. How often do you see your son now?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I would respond to her saying that your son is the most important thing to you and that she should be receiving legal documents shortly.
I have to say, that second to the last sentence is your W being a b*tch. That was pretty heartless of her to say something like that. How often do you see your son now?
My paralegal informed me that the documents were mailed to my wife's new counsel on 04/23 (Monday) and that it's possible that (a) They haven't received it yet, or (b) they have it, but have not contacted my wife yet.
It's also interesting that the last time I asked to discuss with her about a balanced parenting schedule for our son, she sent me that now very infamous letter y'all know and read. Yet now she wants to discuss, likely on her own terms.
What happened to the woman I met and married several years ago?
The coming month is going to be very trying. Folks remind me to leave things in God's hand...to let it go, because he knows what best for our son. Well, the leaving-it-with-God part is really the toughest part for me. I can't bear to imagine if the courts (or He) say that what's best for our son is life without me or less of me.
Of course, that just reveals a lack of faith and trust on my part and exposes the fragility of my being right now.
It's so easy to lash out, but I won't.
It's so tempting to be angry and spiteful at my wife, but I won't.
It's so easy point fingers, but I will keep looking at myself first.
It's so easy to go the worldly route, so I will look to God instead.
It's so hard to love and forgive, but I will because it's the right thing to do.
Well said Alamo. Hold your head up high...
...and keep on keeping on.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
Since this is a touchy "subject", I wanted to run the draft of my response to my wife by everybody before I send it off tonight or tomorrow.
"Dear Wife,
Thanks for touching bases with me. E is the most important person in my life, so ensuring he is close and cared for is my top priority. I have made legal arrangements regarding your question, so if you haven't already been briefed by your counsel, then you should be receiving legal documents soon.
Last night, as I got our son ready for bed, part of his bedtime prayer went like this: "God, thank you for mommy, daddy and Bella (our dog) for loving me." Melted my heart, and also made me shed a tear for all of us.
Sounds good, send it. I would say "touching base" instead of "bases"
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
