Cadet- thanks for putting the thread there- how do I do that next time?
KD- thanks for your input. I do own many of those actions, my IC and I had actually discussed them in a private session where she had me do some introspection. I want to work on them for myself. I wanted so much to avoid becoming my mom ( a weak, sad victim) that I became my Dad. This is important information for me to have moving forward, so I don't repeat this pattern anymore.
SS and bug- In a weird way, it is so much better than "the script". I never loved you, I am not attached to you, etc. That I have no personal control over. My overbearing actions I do. It was actually such a relief to have reasons for the first time. He is passive aggressive so he has never ever said anything like this.
It is a positive step, because I do own a lot of those actions. He needs to get that out and hopefully in time he can own his contributions (withholding affection, never giving an opinion).
At least now I have it from the horses mouth, what I need to do to be a better person. Not to keep him, but for me to work on myself. I don't want to pass these traits on to my kids.
M 37, H 37 M 10, T 12 S 4 D 2 3/14/12 ILYBNILWY 4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing 4/26/12 H moves to his new place
