the path is the goal...

[zig]

wow - am i seeing my own pattern here, again and again!!

i can't understand why even though i see the pattern - him pulling me in, me falling apart - i can't seem to STOP it. it's like i get triggered off so strongly that i am helpless in the wave of it.

though i have to say - that yesterday i was very aware of slipping into that freaking out place and even though i kept telling myself - don't react - get on with your day - put this aside - it seemed as if i almost allowed myself to slip in there and sort of indulge the feelings of sadness, grief, being in limbo etc.

so that is what i am going to really focus on and work with now. it is my biggest challenge and has been throughout this relationship and this sitch. will i finally get it now? oh yes i hope so

cheers to me for seeing it just a bit more clearly everyday!!