@TG: Yes, it has been a long road, and there is more to travel. Opportunities to learn, to improve never stop arriving. Will we perceive them? Will we take advantage of them? Do we have the courage to follow through? Each of us must decide for ourselves.
I feel compelled to express this to you:
A long time ago in Beirut I lost good friends, brothers. Sitting at home in my new life watching the story unfold on CNN I felt a tremendous amount of guilt. I know it is not rational and with the ROE at the time I could have done nothing. It was not even my unit. Still the guilt was present.
XW and commitment to the marriage was a big part of my coping mechanism at the time. Last year with my life crashing down around me the guilt and grief surfaced. Combined with everything else I prepared to take an out to end the pain.
I wept on this board. A post from you that I read as “so bad things happen, get on with life” became a catalyst. I was cryptic and you could not have known the depth of action I was preparing to take.
Though was close I did not break then; this does not break me now.
I feel mostly at peace. There are stronger emotions I am still working through occasionally. Understanding some of what lead to this empowers me to avoid additional pitfalls elsewhere and this lends to peace.
@HW: Hopeless you are not. Court is a ritualized application of the laws governing the legal aspect of this drama. Basically we reviewed for the record the contract previously agreed to. This was done with the Judge guiding the process and a court recorder documenting our responses while under oath. The court prefers to execute this as efficiently as possible with as little emotion as possible.
The judge told XW’s attorney to advise his client she was required to respond audibly. Each L verbally reviews the agreement with their client and XW began to nod her head instead of saying yes. Even this part, the manner the judge advised XW to speak her responses had a form to it.
I understand your sarcasm. You will get through what lies ahead and there is nothing guaranteeing my course is yours. I do not believe in pre ordained futures. I believe our futures are what we make of them and what we make them to be.
@Val: Thank You! We still have a few drinks to stand for…someday.
I am sorry for your pain and the journey you’ve been on. I received something good from it and mine. You are my daughter’s age, possibly more important your orientation is similar. Following your threads helped me relate to my daughter and accept her.
Seeing you as an adult women going though the same pain I was going though gave me the insight I needed to see my daughter’s commitment to her relationship as real.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
